I'm back after another cheeky fling with recovery. I thought everything was fine and I was getting better, but then I weighed myself after 2 months of 'recovery' and saw a number I've never seen before and never want to see again: 175lbs.
175 fucking pounds of fucking fat.
I literally felt sick when I saw what a mess I'd become, so I decided to spend the whole night flirting with my old friend razor blade. It felt so good to punish myself for my gluttony, but I realised I can't carry on dealing with failures like this. I need to deal with them by doing something about them.
So here I am again, asking for your forgiveness, apologising for my disappearance, hoping you'll welcome me back into this circle. I've missed you all so much - I'm back now for good, I promise.
I've decided to call this not a new start, but a new ending. I've had too many new starts and they've all ended in failure. This is my new ending, the beautiful ending I'm creating for myself. A beautiful, thin ending.
Now I'm fully settled back into uni life after my placement (placement = place of evil wherein I gained 10lbs) I figure, what better way to step towards my new, beautiful ending than with the ABC diet.
|Week 8||Fast||ABC ends.|
I'm starting tomorrow with 500 cals. Does anyone want to join me? I've never done it before but I'm really excited to get back on track.
I missed you all so much, did I mention that? Hope you've all been okay and you'll have me back :)
I'll post again in a few days pinkie promise :)
Rydw i'n caru ti, Kiki xx